


if your wings are broken, borrow mine

by karasunotsubasa



Series: life and love, and zines [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel!Victor, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, demon!Yuuri, heavily bible based
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 11:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12957813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasunotsubasa/pseuds/karasunotsubasa
Summary: Angels didn't belong with demons. They were opposites, enemies, never meant to cross paths as more. But from the moment Victor had laid his eyes on Yuuri, he knew he was different. They both were.





	if your wings are broken, borrow mine

**Author's Note:**

> it's almost the end of the year and I've had this fic in the wip folder for almost a year now, which I think is waaaay to long to keep so here it is! I wrote this for [yoi-fanbook](https://yoi-fanbook.tumblr.com/) which may or may not be released in the near future but anywho, here is the edited version of this smol fic, hope you enjoy~

***

 

His job had always been easy. Sometimes too easy, boring even, and when that happened Victor strayed from the task he'd been given. Nudging lightly a guy who was too shy to ask the pretty model out, or lending a hand to a middle-aged couple who'd been trying to adopt a child for years on end with no luck; he broke the rules and reached out to humans. It wasn't enough to be hailed a miracle, but it made Victor smile. Put more wind in his wings on his way back home.

He loved his job.

Humans were curious creatures – their lives were short and hectic, but even in all kinds of despair they were so prone to feel there was always an inkling of hope in their hearts. Sometimes... sometimes Victor wished he could be one of them. To live so vividly, so intensely, to love, to be loved, to care for someone, to hope, to dream. How amazing it would be to see the world from down there, from where the humans looked up to the skies in awe and wonder, where the passage of time could touch him and make him grey with old age?

But he knew he couldn’t have that. He was an angel, his place was not among them.

So he watched, and he helped, and he created miracles – those small and those big, making the insignificant lives of humans something more, something that filled the world with the beautiful, pure energy of Life and Creation.

And that was enough.

 

***

 

_With only a towel wrapped around his hips and another around his shoulders to keep his wet hair from dripping, he stepped into the bedroom. Yuuri was still nestled between the sheets, just like he was before Victor had left him. Face smushed in Victor's pillow and one arm slung around Makkachin, who was napping at his side, Yuuri was snoozing softly in the morning hush._

_Smiling, Victor padded over to the bed._

_"Yuuri," he called quietly. "It's morning, time to wake up."_

_But there was no reply. Victor knew better than to expect that. He rested his hand on Yuuri's head, gently threading fingers through the black locks. The tender touch, more than his words, stirred Yuuri from slumber and bleary eyes blinked at Victor._

_"Good morning," Victor chirped._

_He retracted his hand when Yuuri smiled back at him: a serene smile, warm and soft, still mulled with sleep. Yuuri stretched under the covers, waking Makkachin in the process. With tender affection churning warmly in his chest Victor listened to the moan that slipped past Yuuri's lips as his joints popped in all the right places._

_"'morning," Yuuri mumbled over a yawn._

_Suddenly unable to look at him, afraid of the strength of his own feelings, still so new, so intense, so precious, Victor stepped away from the bed._

_"Where are you going?" Yuuri asked, following him with his eyes. "Come back to bed for a bit, it's still so early. We can nap at least half an hour more." And when Victor didn't reply, Yuuri whined: "Victooor..."_

_Victor only chuckled._

_Happiness coursed in his veins and joy put a spring in his step as his heart danced to the ancient song of love, kindness, devotion, when he moved back into the bed and Yuuri's warm embrace._

***

 

Demons had no souls. Neither did angels.

But there were halves... Nephilims and cambions, daughters and sons of angelic or demonic descent, who still retained half their immortal soul from their human parent. They had no place in Heaven or Hell, forever sentences to suffer in the realm of men. Despite never asking to be brought into the world, they had nothing they could call theirs. Shunned by all, accepted by none – their only consolation was the scrap of humanity they'd never wanted.

Yuuri was one of them. And he despised it.

 

***

 

_Anxiety, oppressive and ugly, sunk its claws in Yuuri's chest. It did so often, more than he'd ever admit. The darkness curling around him from inside out was familiar, a friend almost, pulling at his limbs and choking his breath away._

_Yuuri had always dealt with it in a simple way: by not dealing with it. He curled in his bed, with lights off and curtains drawn, and slept through the heavy burden of guilt, sadness, desperation and shame._

_He was half-human, it was only ironically fair that human weaknesses were to touch him as well. But as a half-demon he should've been able to handle it, to shrug it off. He should've... but he couldn't. Even in that he was a failure._

_Tugging painfully at his hair, Yuuri swallowed a sob of anger. The voices in his head whispered over each other, louder and louder, driving him into insanity: mistake, failure, freak. **Human**. _

_Under the blanket, Yuuri trembled._

_A hand, like a light among darkness, deceivingly warm and gentle, rested on his back. It chased away the heaviness, the fear, the disgust with a single touch – a feat none of Yuuri's efforts ever achieved._

_Before he knew what he was doing, Yuuri opened his eyes and turned around to look into Victor's concerned face._

_"Can I help?" Victor asked, voice soft and careful._

_His eyes were bright, even in the darkness of the room. They were clear, and blue, so, so blue, that without even trying Yuuri could see the love, like clouds on the sky, nestled inside them._

_"How?" Yuuri rasped through his tight throat. How could Victor do anything about–_

_"Any way I know," Victor answered with no hesitation. "Any way you want."_

_He was reaching for him, offering, but never taking, letting Yuuri make his own choice as if he had one, as if it was obvious, as if he was... human, and allowed to be._

_Sinking into Victor's embrace right before he drifted off into blissful nothingness, Yuuri thought that maybe, just maybe, being human wasn't a curse like he'd believed. Maybe it was a hidden blessing instead._

***

 

Love was incredible, Victor always thought so. Every time he witnessed an act of kindness from one human to another he couldn't get enough of the pure, glowing energy of the Creator that filled the small space in the world with its precious light. It was warm and it drew him in like a flame calling to the silly moth, except here there was no danger – just love and light and life.

He wondered what it would feel like to be the one receiving that energy, that love. It must have been an experience like no other, he reasoned. Humans smiled. Some cried. And others laughed joyously. It surely had to be an ecstatic experience, an epiphany, a spiritual height of quality Victor couldn't possibly imagine.

Giving love, receiving love.

Victor wanted it.

Humans were so lucky.

 

***

 

_A rose in the tall vase on the kitchen table. A rose on the pillow next to his when he unusually woke up after Yuuri. A rose atop his skating gear when he opened his practice bag._

_Petals of heavenly blue curled tightly in the centre and spread out into a deeper shade until they dipped in purple, like a morning sky on the days where the world turned cold, but bright with colour. It reminded Victor of the past. A nostalgic feeling settled in his bones, in the tissue memory of his heart. It reminded him of that feeling when he hovered high in the clouds, watching, observing, the rising sun pressing a loving hand to the middle of his back in a soft push towards Heaven, towards home..._

_The door leading onto the small balcony squeaked and Yuuri stepped back inside. Scissors in one hand, he was holding a freshly cut blue rose in the other. The railing of the balcony was completely covered in vines, just like it had been the first time Victor had seen it. The roses sprouted from the vines proudly day after day under Yuuri's careful care, as if to repay him for his love and care, and Victor couldn't find a sight more uplifting to his spirits._

_Yuuri smiled when he spotted Victor, stepping up to him with no reservation. He reached up and tucked the flower behind Victor's ear, eyes soft and warm. His fingers lingered in Victor's hair for a moment, tenderly brushing the ends._

_"A beautiful flower for a beautiful soul," Yuuri said._

_Victor shook his head in fond amusement and took Yuuri's hand, kissing the slightly chilled knuckles. He smiled back._

_"No more than your own."_

_The flush of Yuuri's cheeks was a precious gem in Victor's memory._

 

***

 

The terms of his deal were simple – reap a thousand souls and live in Hell forever. Yuuri believed it wouldn't be hard, even with him being a halfling. He had an eternity for it, he'd manage at some point. Or that was what he'd thought before he actually stepped into the human world.

It took him years to find his way around, to somewhat fit in.

It took even more years to get over the initial shock that he would have to corrupt, to _kill_ to take a soul.

Three decades later found Yuuri slipping.

He didn't want to kill. He never wanted it. His morality, that of a human more than a demon, grew stronger as his eyes opened to the real world. He'd spent so long amongst the humankind, day after day witnessing their short and vivid lives, that without even noticing he became thinking like one of them.

Killing was wrong. Killing was... something in Yuuri's chest throbbed every time he thought about it and he tried to pretend he didn't know what it was, but the truth was hard to run away from. His half-soul: the human part of him revolted at the idea of taking another's life.

But unlike the rest of humans, Yuuri wasn't blind. He could see the plethora of evil plaguing the societies, killing the innocents, blaming the weak. Demons were busy at work, pushing good people onto the paths leading into darkness, reaping the souls which before their touch were meant for Heaven – stealing, plundering, leaving corpses behind.

Yuuri was disgusted.

With them, with himself for ever considering it, with the angels who stood by, just watching, and did nothing even if they could.

 _Free will_ , they always said. _All humans were created with a choice._

Yuuri was born half a demon, half a human, so did he have half a choice as well? He believed, he hoped.

And he resolved himself to taking only the souls which were already condemned, the souls of the broken, the souls of the fallen. Unsurprisingly, those were plenty in this vile and cruel world.

 

***

 

_Laughter was a wondrous thing. The souls shone with pure light and happiness, so blinding and beautiful, no demon would be able to resist the temptation of tarnishing such light._

_Yuuri watched them, jealous, but also content. His instincts, the demonic genes that pressed him to corrupt that which was innocent were quiet now. Hushed over by whole decades of holding back, they remained dormant even in the face of such temptation and that, more than anything, pleased him beyond simple content._

_Looking at the small children skating around Victor in circles, laughing so carelessly, Yuuri felt relieved. He didn't need to kill, he didn't need to take souls – not if he didn't want to._

_And he didn't. At least for now._

_Victor's soul caught his eyes, brighter than most, a little wild, but unblemished. It filled Yuuri's vision like a burning bonfire. His constant presence next to him, feeding him light, chasing away the darkness, and clearing his thoughts was something Yuuri would never be able to explain. Why? How? He couldn't tell, even if he tried. Victor just... was. Some might have said Yuuri was the one being corrupted, that he was giving himself up, but Yuuri wanted it. To be close to him, not to devour, but just to be close to that light, to the warmth of Victor's beautiful soul._

_Victor's eyes found him as if he felt Yuuri's gaze and he smiled at him. A smile of soft affection, cheerful, yet tender, and Yuuri smiled back. Skates glided across the ice and Victor stopped before him to take his hand. And Yuuri followed – willingly, happy that he could._

_The warm hand leading him never let go._

***

 

Demons were born of human weaknesses. They fed on them, grew stronger, more powerful and corruptive. Thankfully, most of them spent their days in the deep pits of Hell, away from civilization and away from angels. There were some, however, who took pleasure in snatching human souls right from under the Guardians' noses.

Victor wasn't a Guardian, he was a Virtue, so as such his contact with demon kind was limited. Or it should've been. By some inconceivable twist of fate, Victor had seen this particular demon more than once. More than twice. More than…

It should’ve been impossible, but there he was now, staring at Victor with warmly glowing eyes. Their gazes met for just a second before the demon turned his head away, giving Victor unvoiced permission to ogle him, which he unashamedly did.

The demon looked _human_ , painfully so. There were no horns, no tail, no evil aura clinging to his skin. In fact, if Victor couldn’t see him feeding on the soul of a broken man who’d beaten his two children to death just minutes before, he would’ve mistook him for a human.

Alas, half a soul that shone inside him, half the proof of his humanity, was bright in Victor’s eyes. A halfling, he realized with eyes wide in surprise.

The halfling finished his meal before his face contorted in disgust as if eating the soul of the murderer brought him pain. Fascinated, Victor drifted closer. There were two more souls in the small house, the soul of the older boy, which was ready to return to the Creator, and the soul of the small girl, who was clinging to life by a thread.

Victor was prepared to fight for both, the demons never missed a chance at a free soul, but–

The one before him only swept a bored glance at them and turned away.

Victor watched him go with mouth parted in surprise and curiosity burning in his chest.

 

***

 

_Even after he'd been turned into just a human, Victor couldn't help it. He stood between the demon and the poor, terrified soul. He couldn't leave, he couldn't let the demon have it, he just couldn't walk by them and pretend he didn't see. But..._

_He couldn't really protect it either._

_The demon cocked her head at him, dark eyes gleaming with malice as if he was a new toy for her to play with. And with his wings gone, with his heavenly powers gone, Victor would be just that if she attacked._

_Fear curled around his heart, squeezing hard and urging him to run, but even then he refused to move._

_"You're a Fallen One," the demon observed, a curious quirk to her lips. "What's a Fallen One doing pretending to protect a meagre soul? You'll die. For real."_

_"I don't care," Victor replied, gritting his teeth. "You're not taking this soul."_

_The demon laughed, a shrill, crazed cackle that raised the hair on Victor's nape._

_"Oh, darling," she cooed. "I will take that soul. And I will take what's left of yours, too."_

_Before he could as much as blink, she lunged at him with the speed he could not match in his human body. Realization and resignation kept him still, even as her talons reached for his chest as if to pluck his heart out of it. Milliseconds of memories, of fragments of his life flashed before his eyes: Yuuri smiling, Yuuri pressed against him on the couch, Makkachin licking his face, Yuuri's face–_

_Yuuri's dark face, tight in anger, made Victor suck in a greedy breath._

_He watched with unblinking force how Yuuri, his sweet, gentle Yuuri, grabbed the demon's wrist and with little effort flipped her over his shoulder, sending her body straight at the brick wall of the building nearby. The crash and crunch of bones reached his ears, but Victor could not look away from Yuuri. In that moment, nothing else mattered._

_Yuuri's hand locked around Victor's elbow: a hard pressure, almost desperate._

_"Are you okay?" he asked._

_He wasn't looking at Victor, his eyes – now glowing with a strange light – were glued to where the fallen demon was trying to stand. Body tense and on guard, Yuuri shifted to stand before Victor protectively._

_"Unharmed," Victor said, afraid to say more in case he distracted him._

_The demon finally stood, glaring at Yuuri with heated passion. She hissed something, something Victor didn't understand, but Yuuri clearly did. His lips pressed together into a thin line. He didn't reply, however, and the demon snorted, sending Victor a fowl scowl before she disappeared in a cloud of smoke._

_Yuuri was still tense when he turned to look at Victor for the first time. His hand trembled when he reached to touch Victor's cheek, and Victor smiled, taking the hand halfway and leaning into the touch. Yuuri's eyes never stopped glowing._

_"You never stop surprising me," Victor admitted, a little awed._

_It was strained and slightly on edge, but Yuuri laughed. Victor pulled him close and leaned their foreheads together, his panicked heartbeat slowing down in the safety of Yuuri's presence._

***

 

There was someone watching him. Yuuri could feel the gaze between his shoulders, heavy and sharp like a sting of a whip, but no matter how often it happened he could never tell where it was coming from. The humans around him mingled without a care and no one seemed to mind him, and yet...

The insistent itch of being followed made Yuuri uneasy. He clutched the sweaty hand he was holding onto and led the drunk girl slumping at his side into the apartment building. Up the stairs, down the corridor, until the door with a crooked 26 stared him in the face. He patted the girl’s pockets for keys and found nothing.

With a sigh, Yuuri closed his eyes briefly. Humans.

He checked if the girl’s eyes were closed. They were. The stench of alcohol hung around her closely, making Yuuri grimace, but at least her lack of restraint was good for this one thing. He could leave her before her door, sure, or he could… Since there was no one in the corridor except for them – he laid his hand on the doorknob. It opened with no resistance, a trickle of his demon power working its way into the lock and letting them in.

The gaze – heated, uncomfortable, overbearing – was still on him and Yuuri shivered. Quickly, he pulled the girl inside the small flat, but it was no use. The feeling was with him when he let the body leaning on him slip onto a small bed in a cramped bedroom. It was there when he shifted the girl around to her side, so she wouldn’t choke if she ended up puking. And it was still there when he left the same way he came from, locking the door behind himself.

Yuuri knew there was a chance that it was all his imagination, that he was just paranoid. But there was also a chance he wasn’t. Someone could’ve been watching him.

A demon? Trying to make sure he was fulfilling his part of the deal? Maybe. If so, they would certainly be disappointed. Yuuri smiled to himself, resigned to always be too weak for his brethren.

From the corner of an eye he noticed a flash of white and curious, he turned that way. The street was just as dark as before. Only the neon street signs flashed with colour, but none of them resembled the pure, unearthly white he was sure he’d seen a second before.

Oh well, he must have imagined it. It's been a long day.

 

***

 

_Everything Victor did was undeniably graceful and charming, it was just a fact. From brushing his teeth, through falling on his ass on the ice, to finally... spilling food all over his lap. There was nothing that didn't make the people around him stop and stare, and as annoying as the attention oftentimes was, Yuuri couldn't help but be amused as well._

_Leave it to an angel to make something as mundane as using chopsticks into a spectacle._

_When another clump of rice ended up on Victor's lap before he could put it in his mouth, Yuuri couldn't sit back anymore. Especially when Victor's pouting face was making him breathless with the laughter he was trying so hard to swallow._

_He nudged Victor's leg under the table while he picked up his own chopsticks again to show Victor the correct way of using them._

_"Watch me," Yuuri said._

_"Always," Victor replied with a promise in his eyes, which somehow, Yuuri believed, had little to do with learning to eat with two pieces of polished wood._

_Fighting off the urge to look away as his cheeks reddened, Yuuri cleared his throat. Stupid angel and his stupid charms._

 

***

 

His wings had always been beautiful. They sprouted tall from his back, right from his shoulder blades, and even though they were heavy, the weight was comforting like a brother's back pressing into his own protectively, giving him strength and confidence. His feathers were in immaculate condition, too. Long, soft to the touch, pure white and glowing subtly with ethereal light of the Creator – they were Victor's personal pride and joy.

His wings were an object of admiration to many, and even Victor himself marvelled at them from time to time; he was one lucky angel. He loved them, from the tips to the delicate padding of feathers across his back, which hid the place the wings dipped into his flesh seamlessly. It would hurt to–

"Are you sure it is what you want?"

The Holy Spirit, an entity made purely of light, was right before him as he knelt on the golden floors before the Heavenly Seat. He was a Virtue, one of many belonging to the Second Sphere under the Spirit's jurisdiction, so even though God was presently seated on His throne, it was the Spirit's voice that resonated within Victor's mind.

He stroked one of his wings, a fond smile on his lips. He was going to miss them, but...

With no hesitation, he gave his answer: "It is."

The waters of the stream that spilled from a crack in the throne and run through the whole of Heaven, curling and winding around it in a protective embrace, were bright and clear – just as was Victor's dedication to the mission he had imparted onto himself.

Even if it meant losing something precious in return.

"So mote it be," God proclaimed, and Victor fell.

 

***

 

_He tried not to think about it, to pretend it didn't bother him, but sometimes... sometimes it did, and keeping it in was too much. The scars on his back were paling, the pain when he moved his shoulders was near to nonexistent, and when he put on a tick sweater even the cold wind didn't faze him._

_But the weight, the weight threw him off._

_Without his wings, Victor felt bare. He felt too light. Just catching his balance the first few days was a challenge, and although he got quite used to it with time, he still couldn't help but move the shoulder muscles that linked to his wings whenever he tripped – only to be reminded by the sting in his hands when he caught himself falling that his wings were truly gone._

_He knew that he gave them up willingly. And yet... it didn't hurt any less._

_A knock on the bathroom door made him startle. Wide blue eyes filled with unshed tears stared back at him in the mirror just as Yuuri's muffled voice came from the other side:_

_"Victor?" he asked. "Are you okay in there?"_

_Yes, of course, he wanted to say._

_Not really, he admitted only to himself._

_But when he opened his mouth, it was only "I'll be right out!" that left it._

_Yuuri was waiting for him, concern on his face and warm light in his eyes, which Victor let himself sink into when Yuuri gathered him into a hug. Careful hands rubbed his back, knowingly or not soothing the phantom ache where his wings were supposed to sprout from._

_Victor gave them up._

_But he gave them up for a good reason._

_For this: this soft smile on Yuuri's face when he peered into his with gentle consideration, for those tender hands, and love._

_He gave his wings up for freedom. And he would've done so again, and again, because Yuuri was worth it. He was worth more than a pair of wings and Victor, if he could, would've given him the world._

***

 

They've never officially met. At least Yuuri didn't think so.

Those curious, fleeting looks traded from afar couldn't count as having properly met, so when he saw him in the park he'd frequented on his way back home, he truly _saw_ him for the first time. Not the translucent silhouette hidden from human sight, not the flash of gorgeous white wings in the corner of his vision, disappearing faster than Yuuri could turn around. He _saw_ him: standing there on the stone path and looking up to the sky in childish wonder as if he never before had seen the colours of the setting sun.

Yuuri's steps faltered for just a second, but he didn't let it stop him. This wasn't his business. Whatever _he_ was doing here of all places wasn't his business. They didn't know each other, it was just a coincidence, just a big–

"Yuuri!"

The voice startled him and he tripped, barely saving himself from falling. Once the wild beating of his heart somehow settled off the thoughts of smashing his nose on the hard stones, he turned around. A smile, blinding and overjoyed, was sent his way and for the love of everything, Yuuri couldn't remember a thing he'd done to deserve it.

"Do–" he started, faltering, and after a deep breath trying again: "Do we know each other?"

 _He_ frowned, a small wrinkle appearing between his brows as the smile disappeared.

"You don't recognize me?" he asked. "I swear I've seen you looking straight at me a few times..."

Yuuri stared at him, like a deer caught in the headlights. "I don't–"

"Ah, no matter then!" The guy waved his hand carelessly, smiling again at Yuuri in that blinding, all-too-happy way which made him speechless. "I'm Victor, it's nice to finally meet you in person."

And Yuuri automatically took his hand, because that's what people do when someone is offering theirs – they shook hands and, through the veil of bizarre that was covering his eyes, Yuuri felt the very human warmth of Victor's palm, the slow flow of the blood in his veins, the thumping of his heart; and he knew, then, that something just wasn't how it used to be.

 

***

 

_"You knew?!" Victor looked at him, shocked. Yuuri shifted, embarrassed. "How could you not tell me?"_

_He was sulking, Yuuri noticed with a small smile._

_"It just never came up?" he offered carefully._

_Victor huffed a little, kicking a lonely stone off the path they were taking. He was mumbling something under his breath, something too quiet for Yuuri to hear, so he let Victor process. Finally, Victor lifted his head to look at Yuuri again with his dangerously bright eyes._

_"So that day we first talked, in the park, you knew who I was?" Victor asked again. "You knew I was an angel?"_

_Yuuri nodded. "I was surprised when you talked to me, but, well, it's hard to mistake you for someone else... so yes, I recognized you."_

_"And you didn't say anything," Victor pouted again and Yuuri smiled sheepishly._

_"I didn't want to seem rude," Yuuri admitted. "An angel without wings... It's not exactly something you bring up over tea."_

_It made Victor chuckle. A second later, he whirled before Yuuri, taking his hand and lifting it up to press a kiss against the knuckles._

_"A demon caring about an angel's feelings," he teased with a smile. "Only I could be so lucky to find one."_

_"That makes two of us, then, since I found a silly angel that cares about a halfling demon spawn enough to give up his wings for him, " Yuuri replied with a smile of his own, light, happy, careless and right._

***

 

Angels didn't belong with demons. They were opposites, enemies, never meant to cross paths as more. But from the moment Victor had laid his eyes on Yuuri, he knew he was different. They both were.

What shouldn't have happened, did happen.

Victor couldn't help but wonder if this was the Creator's intent, if this was his Will, or maybe... it was Victor's final miracle, his biggest, best work yet – a miracle of love, compassion and forgiveness.

 

***

 

# And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

                                                                                                                                                — Genesis 1:3

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a year since I wrote this but man? I actually really really love this fic hjcuyhmjub  
> pls let me know what u think?


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